Sleep Training for Babies: Why Cry It Out Works and How to Do It Right

Sleep training is hard. There are different approaches to resolving sleep issues, but even if you don’t choose to Cry It Out, in most cases, tears are inevitable. Those tears will tug at your heart strings. You’re not alone if you’re avoiding that experience. So many parents delay sleep training, thinking baby’s frequent wakings will stop on their own soon and you can make it just a few days or weeks more with sleepless nights. Unfortunately, in my professional experience, they don’t. Sleep issues typically keep going until parents deliberately and consistently change their messaging and actions around bedtime and nighttime. Babies aren’t born sleeping through the night, and just like the basics of eating and toilet training later on, they need our help to learn to sleep. And when you need sleep too, Cry It Out can be a great option.

Cry It out: The Quickest Solution, and The Most Misunderstood

Because of the common name, Cry It Out (CIO), Extinction gets a bad reputation. There are many misconceptions about this method that lead parents to say “no way.” Before I tell you how to utilize this quick sleep training method, I’m going to dispel some of those.

  • – Your baby will not cry non-stop for the whole night, and crying that does happen will lessen over the course of two or three days.
  • – You will listen to your baby’s cry, watch the monitor and address any true needs.
  • – Research has found CIO will not emotionally harm your child.

What Cry It Out Is

CIO is recommended by many pediatricians because it is the quickest and least confusing way to help your baby learn to sleep all night. Yes, there will be tears the first few nights. But, after those first few nights, it gets easier and easier. Other approaches can take two to three weeks or more. With Cry It Out you’re done sleep training in three to seven days! When you use a longer approach, in fact, there will be more crying over the course of those days.

When to Use Cry It Out

We always recommend waiting to sleep train until 16 weeks. During that time, you can implement sleep hygiene until your babe is ready to learn how to sleep all night. Some babies are ready at that four month mark, but the ideal age for implementing Cry It Out is five months. CIO can be appropriate for kids up to 18 months, according to Dr. Craig Canapari, Sleep Medicine Physician, Yale School of Medicine. Once your kiddo is older, you will want to consider another option.

How to Implement This Method

Okay, you’re starting to see the benefits. How do you actually do it? 

  • – Complete your baby’s bedtime routine. 
  • – Put your baby down to sleep while AWAKE but drowsy.
  • – Say good night and close the bedroom door.
  • – Don’t enter the room (or go to the crib if you’re sleeping in the same room) at all unless there’s a true need. A true need could be an arm or leg stuck between the crib slats, an “explosive” poop, vomiting, or an injury. 
  • – If a need does come up, go in, quickly resolve the need and leave the room again. 

It Feels Hard, But You Deserve Sleep

By going through Cry It Out, your baby will not cry for 12 hours straight. They will have intermittent bouts of crying between periods of sleep. These crying sessions will happen less often and be shorter by the third night. 

You’re not going in every time your little one wakes up because you’re giving your baby the time and space to learn how to self-soothe. Self-soothing is the essential skill that enables your baby to fall asleep independently and fall back to sleep independently. 

Sleep training can be hard but when you’re exhausted and need a quick solution, CIO is a safe, effective and fast way to resolve your baby’s sleep issues and end your own sleepless nights.

Bedtime Changes For Sleep Anxiety

mother laying with child

“Mommy, lay with me.” 

“Can you hold my hand until I fall asleep?”

“One more hug.”

They’re the sweet bedtime murmurs of your little- or the exhausting demands of a child struggling with sleep anxiety. 

When children show sleep anxiety at bedtime (and they don’t express it during daytime hours) these manifestations- clinginess, procrastination, “one more…”- may be a sign that your child hasn’t mastered the ability to fall asleep independently. These kiddos don’t want you to leave their room because they can’t fall asleep without you. Your child stays on “high alert” each time you try to go. 

Inside your scared sleeper’s body their fears are getting in the way of their sleepiness. 

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Recovering From Your Child’s Sleep Disruptions

When COVID causes nighttime troubles

These years of the pandemic that has disrupted our lives and that of our children. It’s been too long of virtual learning, hybrid learning and in-person learning, for some, all of the above. It’s been challenging to keep track of schedules and maintain flexibility to adapt to the ever-changing COVID guidelines and protocols. Many of us are still in survival mode. You may not be getting much sleep as you try to meet the needs of your kids and the demands of your career and other needs. And your child’s sleep disruptions only make it harder. We can’t help but become a bit lax when it comes to household sleep rules, and now you may be parenting through the results.

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How to Deal With Sleep Regressions

Undoubtedly, you’ve heard of sleep regressions. If you’re reading this, chances are you’re experiencing it first hand. The word regression suggests a setback- something abnormal. Unfortunately regressions aren’t abnormal. They are frustrating, exhausting and overwhelming.

Just when you think you have a great sleeper, your great sleeper stops sleeping well. A sleep regression might look like difficulty settling down or falling asleep, nap resistance and night wakings. All of this can lead to overtiredness. In turn, overtiredness can result in fussiness and crankiness. For you and your child. 

Here’s maybe the most important part: sleep regressions usually only last one or two weeks. This will pass.

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Sleep Training Methods Decoded

It’s 3 a.m. You’re awake. Again. Googling “sleep training methods.” Google spits back thousands of pages with dozens of methods with all kinds of crazy names that really don’t seem to make much sense. Maybe because it’s 3 a.m. Or maybe it’s the crying-is-best, crying-is-awful, somewhere-in-the-middle conflict. Plus, your co-worker, friend from high school and cousin’s wife have probably also said, “We did this. It worked for us. Try it. We know it will work for you, too!” It’s easy to get overwhelmed with information. Most parents are! How can every online sleep expert claim to have the perfect solution? How do you know what will help and what won’t?

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Everything You Need to Know About Teething

Everything Gets Blamed on Teething!

Teething gets a bad rap! Teething takes the blame for just about everything, including disrupted sleep. A lot of parents say their child has been teething FOREVER. And, many parents feel that teething is surely the reason their little one isn’t sleeping well. We’ve broken down just about everything you need to know about teething- including separating teething facts from teething fiction.

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Maternity Leave is Ending & Baby Doesn’t Sleep Through the Night- HELP!

Maternity Leave is Ending & Baby Doesn’t Sleep Through the Night- HELP!

After ten beautiful weeks of snuggling your sweet baby, sometimes at all hours of the night, suddenly the countdown to going back to work begins! As maternity leave is ending, baby may not be sleeping. And you might be wondering how you’re going to function at work totally sleep deprived.

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