baby sleep

Postpartum Care Providers: Hands on Sleep Help for the Early Days

Casey White Parenting , ,

Postpartum care providers offer extremely hands on support for families in the fourth trimester. During those days and nights when you’re figuring out how to parent and trying to sleep, these infant care professionals are there for whatever baby-related needs you. Joan can help you navigate sleep once your babe is 16 weeks or older, but if you want more help in the early days, postpartum care providers are one of our favorite resources! We chatted with Karin Jones, owner of Loving Hands, LLC., about her work and how her team supports parents.

Why might a parent seek out a postpartum care provider for nights?

Parents seek overnight care for various reasons. They may be first time parents looking for encouragement and teaching. Some of the difficulties of newborn life include getting on a schedule, breastfeeding support, and that first bath.

Some families are having twins and have other young children as well, and just want a few nights each week to get some good sleep. 

The family may have no immediate family in the area and want that kind of support in the first few months to get off to a good start. 

When it’s time to go back to work, some parents want hands on help sleep training so babe is sleeping better before they return to work. Or, just need some nights of solid sleep as they’re transitioning back to work. 

Sometimes families want overnight help when one parent is traveling for work. And, some use our team when both parents go out of town. 

What support options do families have working with you and your team?

We offer teaching of newborn care, encouragement, breastfeeding support. We will bring baby to mom to nurse at night or will bottle-feed. Some families choose to do a combo of nursing and bottle-feeding. If mom pumps during the night, we will grab the milk from outside her door and either use the freshly expressed milk for the next feeding or put in the fridge for her. Then, we will wash the pump parts and put them back outside her door. 

We also help with baby laundry, washing and sterilizing bottles, restocking diapers and supplies, emptying diaper pail as necessary. We will give the baby a bath if needed. Anything to do with baby! 

How do you and the families determine if your services are a good fit?

I typically meet with the families a few months before delivery. Many of our families find us by word of mouth through their friends or other connections. So, they’re typically similar in personality as their friends we’ve worked with, and just so delightful and kind! 

Depending on where they live, their specific needs, how many nights they need per week, will determine which of our team members and how many they’ll meet and then I’ll create their team that will stay with them the duration of their needs. 

How do you help parents transition from having your team at night to being on their own?

I tell our families that we tend to “work ourselves out of a job”-that we stay until babies are consistently sleeping through the night, or pretty close to it.

We tell them that they can always call us back for short term help, if needed. If parents get sick and need extra rest, if they’re traveling, if baby has had some hiccups along the way and needs help getting back on track, we’re happy to step in.

Tell us about your work as a postpartum care provider.

Loving Hands has been in business for 22 years and has cared for over 200 families in the Milwaukee area, from first time parents, multiples, preemies, and babies with special needs. 

We help families who need anywhere from 1 to 7 nights a week and care for them from as little as a couple weeks to 4-6 months. Every family’s needs are different and we work individually with each family to provide the best care to assist them through these first few weeks and months of their little one’s life. 

We have an amazing team of infant care specialists who are all infant/child CPR certified, compassionate and love helping and encouraging new parents. 

Understanding Baby and Child Sleep Cycles

Joan Becker Friedman Baby & Child Health , ,

Variety is the spice of life, but that’s not true when we talk about baby sleep!

As new parents, we want our babies to have predictable sleep patterns. It’s frustrating and exhausting when they don’t. Unfortunately, it’s also normal for newborn sleep to be inconsistent. The best chance you have of catching as many Z’s as possible is to understand baby and child sleep cycles!

Newborn Sleep Cycles

New babies have two stages of sleep. There’s rapid eye movement (REM) sleep and non-rapid eye movement (non-REM) sleep. REM sleep is also known as active sleep, while non-REM is considered quiet sleep. A complete newborn sleep cycle includes both REM and non-REM sleep. During each sleep cycle, newborns spend an equal amount of time in each stage. During active sleep, baby’s eyelids may flutter, their mouth might move, they might twitch and their breathing might speed up. During quiet sleep, your baby remains still. 

Sleep Cycles Change With Your Baby

Between three and six months, babies develop a predictable circadian rhythm. This is when their sleep cycles lengthen to about 45 minutes. By six months, each cycle may be 60 – 75 minutes or longer. During this time, non-REM sleep develops into three stages.

  • Phase I – Very light sleep The eyes are closed. Your baby is relaxed but not quite asleep.
  • Phase II – The heart rate slows down; body temperature decreases and muscles relax.
  • Phase III – Deep sleep

During Phase I and Phase II, baby can wake up easily. During Phase III, or deep sleep, it is harder to wake a baby (or grown up, for that matter!)

Baby and Child Sleep Cycles- They Grow Up So Fast

Throughout childhood, sleep cycles progress to looking more like adult sleep cycles. By the time we reach adulthood, sleep cycles lengthen to 90 – 120 minutes. Adults spend approximately 20% of sleep time in REM sleep, whereas newborns spend 50% of their sleep time in REM sleep.

Using Baby and Child Sleep Knowledge to Get More Sleep

Newborn parents often check on their babies*, see them moving or hear them making noises and think baby is awake! We naturally want to jump in and help soothe baby to sleep. Plus, newborn parents are exhausted and want more sleep- whatever it takes!  

All of that said, the best way to help your baby sleep is understanding that movements and noise in REM sleep are normal. If you can wait to intervene until baby lets out a true cry, your baby has a chance to embark on the next sleep stage independently.

At the end of a sleep cycle, a baby (or an adult) either wakes up or just goes on to the next sleep cycle. Babies who sleep through the night, transition easily from one sleep cycle to the next without waking. Or, they may wake briefly (without you even noticing) and self-soothe back to sleep. This is where sleep associations come into play. If your baby associates falling asleep with holding, rocking, bouncing or feeding, they’ll want your help moving between each sleep cycle. If you’re exhausted, helping your baby learn to connect those sleep cycles gives both of you the gift of more sleep!

*If you find yourself checking your baby’s sleep so much that you can’t sleep when they sleep or it interferes with your functioning, please reach out to your medical team. This may be a sign of a perinatal mental health condition requiring additional support and/or treatment.

Sleep & The Second Time Mom

Casey White Baby Sleep, Motherhood Stories and Experiences, Parenting, Toddler Sleep , , , ,
Sleep & The Second Time Mom

Before I get too far into this post, it feels important to start with: I am not a sleep consultant. I’m just a sleep consultant’s social media manager, which comes with a certain amount of knowledge, but does not in any way make me an expert. I also think it’s fair to give you a heads up- my two-year-old has never been a good sleeper and still does not sleep through the night consistently, so when we brought home our “Tiny” I was determined to do things “better” with sleep the second time around. You’re likely reading this as a parent and know that sometimes all the “better” in the world makes absolutely no difference. And yet, I, like many of you, really like sleep. So, I ventured to do better.

Read more

I Went Camping With My Baby

Casey White Baby Sleep, Motherhood Stories and Experiences , ,

A mom walks into a campground- and runs out screaming 12 hours later.

That was almost me. Because I went camping with my baby. But, before you say you’ll never make the same mistake, this is a story with a happy ending!

A good idea, maybe

In the summer of social distancing, we decided camping felt safe enough for our little crew to have a weekend getaway camping with my in-laws.

My one-year-old is a happy camper. He’s never actually camped, but my easy-going kid loves nature. Camping fits his interests perfectly. Except for the fact that he sleeps best in complete darkness, at a crisp 68-72 degrees with the sound of ocean waves washing over him.

He’s a dream sleeper at home. We didn’t know how he’d do in a camper on a hot July weekend.

Day One

We timed the drive perfectly. Get him in his carseat right at naptime, he’ll sleep the first two hours, wake up, have a snack then become a camper. 

Nope.

Thirty minutes in his eyes popped open to watch the cars and trucks buzz by. The next two hours consisted of 10 minute naps.

Nap one was a bust. But, there’s hope yet!

Lunch, play, nap two.

We put his Pack ‘n’ Play in the camper, zipped him into his sleep sack, gave him his lovey and turned on the waves. He went out without a problem.

Snack, play, dinner… bedtime routine. And this is the part where mommy almost ran away.

My happy bathtime baby did not care for an inch of water at the bottom of the camper shower. Screaming. He didn’t want his bottle. More screaming and some wriggling. Reading was acceptable. Going to bed was not.

While I’m pretty powerful, if I do say so myself, I do not control the air temperature or sunset. So getting my son to lay down behind a sheet in the hot camper to try to block out light didn’t go well. He could tell it was still daytime- his favorite word is ‘go’ and that’s what he wanted to do- and he was H-O-T.

We fought him to sleep for HOURS. We sat in the air-conditioned car for bottle and stories. We swung in the hammock as the last light blue disappeared into the darkness. He fell asleep, but as soon as his head hit the Pack ‘n’ Play inside he was reminded he was in a weird place with weird light and too much humidity.

My husband and I didn’t know what to do. We followed all of Joan’s key sleep principles at home- cool, dark room, white noise, sleep sack, lovey. Luckily, we had parenting and camping professionals with us. 

Here’s what we as first-time parents didn’t realize. You adapt and survive. So, my husband and father-in-law loaded my sad buddy into his car seat and drove. About an hour later, they brought back my cooled-off, snoozing dude and he went into his bed just fine.

He woke me up in the morning by pulling up on the side of his bed and giving me a smoochie.

Day Two

My husband and I woke up ready to call it quits on camping with baby. But, he’s more patient than I am and decided let’s get through nap one. And not take any chances that it’d be a good one.

The guys loaded up the baby again- committed to driving up and down the Door County peninsula for two hours of a solid baby nap.

It worked! 

A solid morning nap led into a solid afternoon nap. A happy, splashing baby in between.

At bedtime, we had learned some lessons. First- since we couldn’t control the light, we didn’t. We pushed back bedtime until the night sky darkened. In the meantime, we did everything we could to keep the camper cool. We did most of his bedtime routine outside where the breeze could do the work for us. He and I snuggled in the big bed next to his Pack ‘n’ Play by ourselves for his bottle- him in his sleep sack ready for bed. The calm and quiet seemed to help. I reminded him mommy was still here behind the sheet.

We became happy campers

We ended up happy campers because we stopped trying to control the things we couldn’t. Sleep at home and sleep anywhere else are different. And we had to accept that.

Sure, driving our bud around at home isn’t sustainable. But, if that’s how we escape quarantine for two nights it’s fine. A late bedtime isn’t ideal, but if it saves a fight it’s fine. Letting go of my sleep anxiety really was fine since it meant I got to experience the joys of camping with my baby.

And next time, I might consider a battery-powered fan and/or this nifty invention to give buddy a private, dark space.

Reflux & Your Baby

Joan Becker Friedman Baby & Child Health, Baby Sleep, Common Sleep Challenges , , ,

Reflux can cause baby sleep challenges but not all baby sleep challenges are due to reflux. When it comes to reflux, there can be a bit of confusion regarding symptoms, causes and treatment. Let’s get the facts straight!

What is reflux?

There are two types of reflux. There’s GER or Gastroesophageal Reflux, also known as just reflux and then, there’s GERD or Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease. 

Reflux can start as early as a few weeks of age but, usually, starts between two and four months. This is generally the time that infants start consuming larger amounts of breastmilk or formula.

GER is quite common. With GER your baby’s milk & other stomach contents back up into the esophagus. Sometimes, you might see it come out through the mouth or nose. GER starts to ease up at six months and usually resolves by nine to 12 months. GER diminishes at this time for a few reasons: 1) the muscle between the esophagus and stomach (the esophageal sphincter) tightens up; 2) most babies start sitting up and 3) most babies begin eating solid foods. All of these factors make it harder for baby’s food to work against gravity to come back up.

While GER is common, GERD is not so much. It is similar to GER in the fact that it causes baby’s food to come back up. The difference is that GERD results in complications. GERD causes inflammation of the esophagus and/or oropharynx. If GERD is not managed , it can lead to more serious complications such as airway problems (wheezing, gagging or difficulty breathing), poor feeding and inadequate weight gain.

Due to the acidity of stomach contents, both GER and GERD can cause discomfort.

How do you know if your baby has GER?

Common symptoms of GER include the following:

  • Spitting up or vomiting after feedings
  • Fussiness, irritability
  • Back arching, head thrusting
  • Difficulty self-soothing and falling asleep

Some babies have “silent reflux”.  With silent reflux, a baby won’t necessarily spit up or vomit but this type of reflux can result in inflammation of the esophagus and an uncomfortable baby.

If you notice these symptoms, check with your pediatrician. Your pediatrician will also be able to figure out if your baby has reflux or an allergy to milk or formula, which is another possibility with the same symptoms.

Many parents get concerned if they see their baby spitting up regularly. But, that’s normal! If they aren’t bothered by it, your little one is probably just a “happy spitter”!

How can you help your baby’s discomfort?

  • Feed your baby smaller amounts more often.
  • Burp you baby frequently while feeding.
  • Hold baby upright for 15 – 30 minutes after every feeding.
  • If your baby is bottle feeding, make sure that the size of the bottle’s nipple hole is appropriate for your baby.
    • If the hole is too small, your baby will swallow too much air.
    • If the hole is too large, your baby can take in too much fluid.

Could reflux be the reason your baby isn’t sleeping well?

If your baby falls asleep while feeding, rocking, swinging or bouncing, and wakes up regularly, those wake-ups are likely due to a sleep association. If you’re putting baby down calm, but still awake, an occasional wake up might be due to reflux.

While many parents used to think wedges or inclined sleepers helped babies with reflux, wedges and inclined sleepers are not safe. The American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend inclined sleepers for reflux. The use of these products has resulted in death.

Can medication or diet help?

“The good news about reflux”, says Dr. Tim Marsho from Tosa Pediatrics, “is that it almost always gets better without any intervention at all.”

If you do need to make changes, your pediatrician can guide you.

With all the different formula options out there, they might recommend trying a different option. If you’re nursing, your doctor may suggest tracking your diet and limiting anything that seems problematic.

According to Dr. Marsho, reflux medication is used much less frequently than years ago. “There is growing evidence that medication does not help as much as we once thought it did. In fact, there are safety concerns with long-term use of medications. If we have to resort to medication, it’s only for a very short period of time.”

While reflux can be a nuisance for babies and very stressful for parents, it is normal. Dr. Marsho reassures parents that “it is not a medical problem”. In most cases, it resolves by nine to 12 months. You and your pediatrician will figure out the best way to address this temporary nuisance. If your baby’s intake is inadequate, weight gain is insufficient or there are compromising respiratory issues, your pediatrician may recommend further diagnostic testing. Fortunately, this is a much less common scenario. 

Sleep Training Methods Decoded

Joan Becker Friedman Nighttime Sleep, Parenting , , , , ,

It’s 3 a.m. You’re awake. Again. Googling “sleep training methods.” Google spits back thousands of pages with dozens of methods with all kinds of crazy names that really don’t seem to make much sense. Maybe because it’s 3 a.m. Or maybe it’s the crying-is-best, crying-is-awful, somewhere-in-the-middle conflict. Plus, your co-worker, friend from high school and cousin’s wife have probably also said, “We did this. It worked for us. Try it. We know it will work for you, too!” It’s easy to get overwhelmed with information. Most parents are! How can every online sleep expert claim to have the perfect solution? How do you know what will help and what won’t?

Read more

Everything You Need to Know About Teething

Joan Becker Friedman Baby & Child Health, Baby Sleep, Common Sleep Challenges, Nighttime Sleep , , , , , ,

Everything Gets Blamed on Teething!

Teething gets a bad rap! Teething takes the blame for just about everything, including disrupted sleep. A lot of parents say their child has been teething FOREVER. And, many parents feel that teething is surely the reason their little one isn’t sleeping well. We’ve broken down just about everything you need to know about teething- including separating teething facts from teething fiction.

Read more

Maternity Leave is Ending & Baby Doesn’t Sleep Through the Night- HELP!

Joan Becker Friedman Baby Sleep, Nighttime Sleep, Parenting , ,
Maternity Leave is Ending & Baby Doesn’t Sleep Through the Night- HELP!

After ten beautiful weeks of snuggling your sweet baby, sometimes at all hours of the night, suddenly the countdown to going back to work begins! As maternity leave is ending, baby may not be sleeping. And you might be wondering how you’re going to function at work totally sleep deprived.

Read more

It May Not be The Right Time to Sleep Train… Yet

Joan Becker Friedman Baby Sleep, Common Sleep Challenges, Nighttime Sleep , ,

So, you’ve decided you and your baby are ready for sleep training! You may feel like the right time to sleep train is ASAP – before the sleepless nights drive you even crazier…

GREAT! That’s what we’re here for. But, we want to make sure when you do the work to sleep train, it sticks. Timing is everything. Sometimes finding the right time to sleep train, even if it means more wakeful nights, will allow the consistency it takes to be successful. 

Read more