Parenting

Parenting can be overwhelming! Joan brings her best advice to the blog!

How to Help Your Kids Share a Room Successfully

Joan Becker Friedman Common Sleep Challenges, Parenting, Toddler Sleep

If you have more kids than bedrooms, having your kids share a room is often a must. But even if your home has enough space for each child to have their own room, there are real benefits to having siblings share a room.

When kids share a bedroom, they often build a stronger bond. They learn to share, compromise, and respect each other’s space. They get to swap stories, whisper secrets, and create memories they’ll look back on for years. For little ones who feel anxious at night, having a sibling nearby can be a great source of comfort and security.

But as lovely as room sharing can be, it’s not always smooth sailing.

Challenges of Your Kids Sharing a Room

Room sharing can become tricky when siblings have different sleep schedules. One might fall asleep easily, while the other struggles to settle down. Some kids are early risers, while others like to sleep in. These differences can cause disruptions and make bedtime feel stressful.

Every family is different, and what works for one household may not work for another. But there’s one tip that works for almost everyone: make sure both kids are already sleeping well before you move them into the same room.

If either child struggles with falling or staying asleep, it’s best to keep them in separate spaces—at least for now. This might mean getting creative! Could you turn a large closet, guest room, or even a hallway nook into a temporary sleep space?

Setting Up a Shared Bedroom for Better Sleep

Once both kids have strong, healthy sleep habits, it’s time to set up their shared sleep environment in a way that supports good rest:

  • Place beds or cribs apart. Keep them on opposite sides of the room if possible.
  • Make the room cool, quiet, and dark. Use blackout curtains and keep the temperature comfortable.
  • Use night lights wisely. If needed, choose amber or red lights and place them out of direct view.
  • Add sound machines for each child. This helps mask noises and can prevent one sibling from waking the other.

Keep a Consistent Bedtime Routine

Consistency is key—whether your kids share a room or not.

Try to put both children to bed at the same time and go through the bedtime routine together. If their schedules are too different, stagger their bedtimes. Put one child to bed while keeping the other in a different room for some quiet one-on-one time before their own bedtime.

By the time your child is between 4 and 6 months old, any wake-up between 6:00 AM and 8:00 AM is considered normal. If one sibling wakes at 6:30 and the other at 7:15, that’s okay—they’re both within a healthy wake window.

Final Tips for Your Kids Sharing a Room

No matter your sleep setup, never underestimate the power of consistency and praise.

Be calm and clear with your expectations at bedtime and in the morning. Stick to the same routine each night, and celebrate your kids’ efforts—especially when they follow sleep rules or stay quiet during bedtime. Positive reinforcement goes a long way.

With patience, structure, and lots of love, your kids can thrive in a shared bedroom—and you might even find that it brings them closer together.

Sleep Training for Babies: Why Cry It Out Works and How to Do It Right

Joan Becker Friedman Baby Sleep, Common Sleep Challenges, Nighttime Sleep, Parenting

Sleep training is hard. There are different approaches to resolving sleep issues, but even if you don’t choose to Cry It Out, in most cases, tears are inevitable. Those tears will tug at your heart strings. You’re not alone if you’re avoiding that experience. So many parents delay sleep training, thinking baby’s frequent wakings will stop on their own soon and you can make it just a few days or weeks more with sleepless nights. Unfortunately, in my professional experience, they don’t. Sleep issues typically keep going until parents deliberately and consistently change their messaging and actions around bedtime and nighttime. Babies aren’t born sleeping through the night, and just like the basics of eating and toilet training later on, they need our help to learn to sleep. And when you need sleep too, Cry It Out can be a great option.

Cry It out: The Quickest Solution, and The Most Misunderstood

Because of the common name, Cry It Out (CIO), Extinction gets a bad reputation. There are many misconceptions about this method that lead parents to say “no way.” Before I tell you how to utilize this quick sleep training method, I’m going to dispel some of those.

  • – Your baby will not cry non-stop for the whole night, and crying that does happen will lessen over the course of two or three days.
  • – You will listen to your baby’s cry, watch the monitor and address any true needs.
  • – Research has found CIO will not emotionally harm your child.

What Cry It Out Is

CIO is recommended by many pediatricians because it is the quickest and least confusing way to help your baby learn to sleep all night. Yes, there will be tears the first few nights. But, after those first few nights, it gets easier and easier. Other approaches can take two to three weeks or more. With Cry It Out you’re done sleep training in three to seven days! When you use a longer approach, in fact, there will be more crying over the course of those days.

When to Use Cry It Out

We always recommend waiting to sleep train until 16 weeks. During that time, you can implement sleep hygiene until your babe is ready to learn how to sleep all night. Some babies are ready at that four month mark, but the ideal age for implementing Cry It Out is five months. CIO can be appropriate for kids up to 18 months, according to Dr. Craig Canapari, Sleep Medicine Physician, Yale School of Medicine. Once your kiddo is older, you will want to consider another option.

How to Implement This Method

Okay, you’re starting to see the benefits. How do you actually do it? 

  • – Complete your baby’s bedtime routine. 
  • – Put your baby down to sleep while AWAKE but drowsy.
  • – Say good night and close the bedroom door.
  • – Don’t enter the room (or go to the crib if you’re sleeping in the same room) at all unless there’s a true need. A true need could be an arm or leg stuck between the crib slats, an “explosive” poop, vomiting, or an injury. 
  • – If a need does come up, go in, quickly resolve the need and leave the room again. 

It Feels Hard, But You Deserve Sleep

By going through Cry It Out, your baby will not cry for 12 hours straight. They will have intermittent bouts of crying between periods of sleep. These crying sessions will happen less often and be shorter by the third night. 

You’re not going in every time your little one wakes up because you’re giving your baby the time and space to learn how to self-soothe. Self-soothing is the essential skill that enables your baby to fall asleep independently and fall back to sleep independently. 

Sleep training can be hard but when you’re exhausted and need a quick solution, CIO is a safe, effective and fast way to resolve your baby’s sleep issues and end your own sleepless nights.

Postpartum Care Providers: Hands on Sleep Help for the Early Days

Joan Becker Friedman Parenting , ,

Postpartum care providers offer extremely hands on support for families in the fourth trimester. During those days and nights when you’re figuring out how to parent and trying to sleep, these infant care professionals are there for whatever baby-related needs you. Joan can help you navigate sleep once your babe is 16 weeks or older, but if you want more help in the early days, postpartum care providers are one of our favorite resources! We chatted with Karin Jones, owner of Loving Hands, LLC., about her work and how her team supports parents.

Why might a parent seek out a postpartum care provider for nights?

Parents seek overnight care for various reasons. They may be first time parents looking for encouragement and teaching. Some of the difficulties of newborn life include getting on a schedule, breastfeeding support, and that first bath.

Some families are having twins and have other young children as well, and just want a few nights each week to get some good sleep. 

The family may have no immediate family in the area and want that kind of support in the first few months to get off to a good start. 

When it’s time to go back to work, some parents want hands on help sleep training so babe is sleeping better before they return to work. Or, just need some nights of solid sleep as they’re transitioning back to work. 

Sometimes families want overnight help when one parent is traveling for work. And, some use our team when both parents go out of town. 

What support options do families have working with you and your team?

We offer teaching of newborn care, encouragement, breastfeeding support. We will bring baby to mom to nurse at night or will bottle-feed. Some families choose to do a combo of nursing and bottle-feeding. If mom pumps during the night, we will grab the milk from outside her door and either use the freshly expressed milk for the next feeding or put in the fridge for her. Then, we will wash the pump parts and put them back outside her door. 

We also help with baby laundry, washing and sterilizing bottles, restocking diapers and supplies, emptying diaper pail as necessary. We will give the baby a bath if needed. Anything to do with baby! 

How do you and the families determine if your services are a good fit?

I typically meet with the families a few months before delivery. Many of our families find us by word of mouth through their friends or other connections. So, they’re typically similar in personality as their friends we’ve worked with, and just so delightful and kind! 

Depending on where they live, their specific needs, how many nights they need per week, will determine which of our team members and how many they’ll meet and then I’ll create their team that will stay with them the duration of their needs. 

How do you help parents transition from having your team at night to being on their own?

I tell our families that we tend to “work ourselves out of a job”-that we stay until babies are consistently sleeping through the night, or pretty close to it.

We tell them that they can always call us back for short term help, if needed. If parents get sick and need extra rest, if they’re traveling, if baby has had some hiccups along the way and needs help getting back on track, we’re happy to step in.

Tell us about your work as a postpartum care provider.

Loving Hands has been in business for 22 years and has cared for over 200 families in the Milwaukee area, from first time parents, multiples, preemies, and babies with special needs. 

We help families who need anywhere from 1 to 7 nights a week and care for them from as little as a couple weeks to 4-6 months. Every family’s needs are different and we work individually with each family to provide the best care to assist them through these first few weeks and months of their little one’s life. 

We have an amazing team of infant care specialists who are all infant/child CPR certified, compassionate and love helping and encouraging new parents. 

Understanding the AAP’s New Safe-Sleep Guidelines

Joan Becker Friedman Baby & Child Health, Baby Sleep, Parenting

Here at Peapod Sleep Consultants we’ve been working hard to digest the American Academy of Pediatrics’ (AAP) new safe-sleep guidelines and recommendations. It’s the first time in SIX years they’ve updated this information, so these new recommendations and clarifications are based on research that’s happened since then and will hopefully help prevent Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

At the end of the day, the lead author of the new policy says keep sleep simple. 

“Simple is best. Babies should always sleep alone in a crib or bassinet, on their back, without soft toys, pillows, blankets or other bedding,“ said Dr. Rachel Moon. 

While you may have read the new safe-sleep guidelines, you also might have walked away wondering “what’s new here?” Mostly, these updated suggestions provide more specific guidance to clarify earlier recommendations.

What’s new in the new safe-sleep guidelines?

They’re more specific and they’re meant to clarify the earlier recommendations. Here’s the summary:

  • Try to share your room- NOT your bed- with baby for six months. While some parents may find bed sharing preferable, according to Dr. Rebecca Carline, co-author of the AAP report, said the evidence is clear that bed sharing increases the risk of a baby’s injury or death.
  • Inclined sleepers of any kind are not acceptable for sleep (and the Consumer Product Safety Commission agrees with their new rule banning certain types of inclined sleepers)
  • Swaddling is fine for sleep but should be discontinued with the first signs of rolling over.
  • Avoid weighted blankets, weighted swaddles or weighted sleep sacks.
  • Keep pillows, bumper pads, stuffed animals, blankets or any other types of soft bedding out of baby’s bed.
  • Try not to use car seats, bouncers, strollers, carriers, swings and slings for naps or night sleep. If a baby falls asleep in a car seat, they should be transferred to a crib or bassinet as soon as possible. During the first few months of life, a baby doesn’t necessarily have head or neck strength to keep their airway open in one of these products. 
  • Heart rate monitors and pulse oximeters you can buy in your average baby store are not recommended. The concern is false alarms and that they may provide parents with a false sense of security.

About That Six Month Rooming-In Suggestion

Yes, the guidelines suggest that you keep baby in your room for six months. But, there may be circumstances where it makes sense for your family to move baby to their room sooner. We say this with the knowledge that the greatest risk for SIDS is between one and four months. If you’re so sleep deprived at night that you’re bringing baby into your bed to catch up on sleep, it may be less risky to move baby into their own room than to keep them with you. Before you make any decisions, consult with your pediatrician. 

Returning Safe-Sleep Recommendations

The following safe-sleep guidelines remain part of the AAP’s recommendations:

  • Place your child on their back to sleep for all naps and night sleep.
  • Avoid overheating (68-72 degrees is the sweet spot)
  • Breastfeed or provide expressed human milk for six months or more. Editorial note: Fed is best! Please don’t feel any guilt if breastmilk is not a good choice for your family.
  • Offer your baby a pacifier at sleep times.
  • Avoid smoke exposure, alcohol and illicit drug use.
  • Try to work your baby up to 15 to 30 minutes of daily tummy time each day by seven weeks.

If you’re ever in doubt about a particular product, consult the Consumer Product Safety Commission https://www.cpsc.gov/ or the Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association https://www.jpma.org/. If you have questions about any part of the newly revised guidelines, it’s best to consult with your child’s pediatrician.

Sleep & The Second Time Mom

Casey White Baby Sleep, Motherhood Stories and Experiences, Parenting, Toddler Sleep , , , ,
Sleep & The Second Time Mom

Before I get too far into this post, it feels important to start with: I am not a sleep consultant. I’m just a sleep consultant’s social media manager, which comes with a certain amount of knowledge, but does not in any way make me an expert. I also think it’s fair to give you a heads up- my two-year-old has never been a good sleeper and still does not sleep through the night consistently, so when we brought home our “Tiny” I was determined to do things “better” with sleep the second time around. You’re likely reading this as a parent and know that sometimes all the “better” in the world makes absolutely no difference. And yet, I, like many of you, really like sleep. So, I ventured to do better.

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Getting on the Same Page About Sleep Training

Joan Becker Friedman Parenting

Sleep training takes a little preparation to make sure it actually works! The first step for two-parent households is getting on the same page that sleep training is needed. We know you’re exhausted, and we know agreeing on anything is harder without sleep. When you’ve tried recommendations from your pediatrician and well-meaning family members and friends, if nothing seems to be working, you might need some outside help! But before you do that, make sure you and your partner agree on handling sleep.

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You Might Not Need A Baby Monitor

Joan Becker Friedman Baby Sleep, Parenting

Baby monitors have become a must-have for most new parents’ baby registries. They’re great at providing reassurance when you have a new baby. That is a wonderful benefit of this technology! And baby monitors are great if you and your kids are sleeping on different floors or you have a special needs child. But, if your kiddo is in the next room, you might not need a baby monitor.

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The Path Forward: Postpartum Mental Health

Casey White Motherhood Stories and Experiences, Parenting , , , ,
The author, pictured 2 weeks postpartum with her son.
Photo by Abby Park Photography

A 95 degree day felt easily 120 degrees as I waited for our food. This was supposed to be a first-ever family fun adventure, but felt more like I was in a tunnel full of fire.

I walked out of the custard stand and stared at my husband across the parking lot without saying a word.

“Are you okay?” he asked, hurrying over. He says I looked like I’d seen a ghost.

“No, we need to go,” I told him without explanation. I didn’t have one to offer.

Months later, sitting on the couch in my therapist’s dimly lit, air conditioned office, I would learn that was my first panic attack, 10 days postpartum with our beautiful baby boy. It wasn’t my last.

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Finding the Motivation to Fix Sleep

Joan Becker Friedman Common Sleep Challenges, Parenting

Fussy, cranky, uncooperative….You know when your child is overtired. When you work a full day, take care of the kids, prepare dinner, clean up, do laundry, etc., etc., it may seem impossible to get your kids in bed at an age-appropriate bedtime. Late bedtimes, difficulty falling asleep, night wakings…all of it leads to parental frustration and ultimately, exhaustion for everyone. And who has the motivation to fix sleep issues when you’re tired?

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Reasons to Put Sleep First

Joan Becker Friedman Parenting

As a busy parent, good sleep may seem like a luxury- the kind that’s out of reach. As we kick off the new year, this is the perfect time to shift that mindset. Here’s the thing: Sleep is not a luxury! It’s a necessity if you hope to stay healthy. If you’re making resolutions for this new year, think about moving sleep higher up on your priority list. We’d argue you should put sleep first. After all, if you’re not getting enough sleep, it impacts your kids, your partner and your day-to-day family life.

So, why should you prioritize sleep on your list of needs?

Sleep helps you maintain your physical health

  • Sleep is vital to a healthy immune system. Sleep helps prevent infections and fight them off when you do get one. Getting enough sleep also reduces your risk for chronic illnesses like diabetes and heart disease.

Sleep helps you manage stress and improves mental health

  • We’ve all been there. Two hours of sleep, an early (pint-sized, screaming) alarm, then a bowl of cereal spills at breakfast. If you’re not getting enough sleep, small stressors can turn into big ones. Healthy sleep helps you stay calm and flexible when things don’t go exactly according to plan. 

Sleep helps you focus and learn

  • Whether you’re studying, working, volunteering or parenting, sleep enables helps your brain take in new information, process it and retain it. When you haven’t slept enough, I don’t think we need to tell you, you’re more likely to forget things and make mistakes.

Sleep helps you maintain a healthy body weight

  • Early morning and late night fitness fanatics, this one is especially for you! Skimping on sleep makes it harder to maintain your weight or take off those few extra pounds you’ve been wanting to lose. Adequate sleep is crucial for healthy metabolism and fat loss.

With these well established benefits of good sleep, kick off the new year by doing your best to put sleep first. Life is just a little bit easier when you’re getting the quantity and quality of sleep that you need. If your kids’ sleep habits are the reason you’re getting less than adequate sleep, we’re happy to help!