Sleep Training for Babies: Why Cry It Out Works and How to Do It Right

Sleep training is hard. There are different approaches to resolving sleep issues, but even if you don’t choose to Cry It Out, in most cases, tears are inevitable. Those tears will tug at your heart strings. You’re not alone if you’re avoiding that experience. So many parents delay sleep training, thinking baby’s frequent wakings will stop on their own soon and you can make it just a few days or weeks more with sleepless nights. Unfortunately, in my professional experience, they don’t. Sleep issues typically keep going until parents deliberately and consistently change their messaging and actions around bedtime and nighttime. Babies aren’t born sleeping through the night, and just like the basics of eating and toilet training later on, they need our help to learn to sleep. And when you need sleep too, Cry It Out can be a great option.

Cry It out: The Quickest Solution, and The Most Misunderstood

Because of the common name, Cry It Out (CIO), Extinction gets a bad reputation. There are many misconceptions about this method that lead parents to say “no way.” Before I tell you how to utilize this quick sleep training method, I’m going to dispel some of those.

  • – Your baby will not cry non-stop for the whole night, and crying that does happen will lessen over the course of two or three days.
  • – You will listen to your baby’s cry, watch the monitor and address any true needs.
  • – Research has found CIO will not emotionally harm your child.

What Cry It Out Is

CIO is recommended by many pediatricians because it is the quickest and least confusing way to help your baby learn to sleep all night. Yes, there will be tears the first few nights. But, after those first few nights, it gets easier and easier. Other approaches can take two to three weeks or more. With Cry It Out you’re done sleep training in three to seven days! When you use a longer approach, in fact, there will be more crying over the course of those days.

When to Use Cry It Out

We always recommend waiting to sleep train until 16 weeks. During that time, you can implement sleep hygiene until your babe is ready to learn how to sleep all night. Some babies are ready at that four month mark, but the ideal age for implementing Cry It Out is five months. CIO can be appropriate for kids up to 18 months, according to Dr. Craig Canapari, Sleep Medicine Physician, Yale School of Medicine. Once your kiddo is older, you will want to consider another option.

How to Implement This Method

Okay, you’re starting to see the benefits. How do you actually do it? 

  • – Complete your baby’s bedtime routine. 
  • – Put your baby down to sleep while AWAKE but drowsy.
  • – Say good night and close the bedroom door.
  • – Don’t enter the room (or go to the crib if you’re sleeping in the same room) at all unless there’s a true need. A true need could be an arm or leg stuck between the crib slats, an “explosive” poop, vomiting, or an injury. 
  • – If a need does come up, go in, quickly resolve the need and leave the room again. 

It Feels Hard, But You Deserve Sleep

By going through Cry It Out, your baby will not cry for 12 hours straight. They will have intermittent bouts of crying between periods of sleep. These crying sessions will happen less often and be shorter by the third night. 

You’re not going in every time your little one wakes up because you’re giving your baby the time and space to learn how to self-soothe. Self-soothing is the essential skill that enables your baby to fall asleep independently and fall back to sleep independently. 

Sleep training can be hard but when you’re exhausted and need a quick solution, CIO is a safe, effective and fast way to resolve your baby’s sleep issues and end your own sleepless nights.

Sleep & The Second Time Mom

Sleep & The Second Time Mom

Before I get too far into this post, it feels important to start with: I am not a sleep consultant. I’m just a sleep consultant’s social media manager, which comes with a certain amount of knowledge, but does not in any way make me an expert. I also think it’s fair to give you a heads up- my two-year-old has never been a good sleeper and still does not sleep through the night consistently, so when we brought home our “Tiny” I was determined to do things “better” with sleep the second time around. You’re likely reading this as a parent and know that sometimes all the “better” in the world makes absolutely no difference. And yet, I, like many of you, really like sleep. So, I ventured to do better.

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The Path Forward: Postpartum Mental Health

The author, pictured 2 weeks postpartum with her son.
Photo by Abby Park Photography

A 95 degree day felt easily 120 degrees as I waited for our food. This was supposed to be a first-ever family fun adventure, but felt more like I was in a tunnel full of fire.

I walked out of the custard stand and stared at my husband across the parking lot without saying a word.

“Are you okay?” he asked, hurrying over. He says I looked like I’d seen a ghost.

“No, we need to go,” I told him without explanation. I didn’t have one to offer.

Months later, sitting on the couch in my therapist’s dimly lit, air conditioned office, I would learn that was my first panic attack, 10 days postpartum with our beautiful baby boy. It wasn’t my last.

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Real-life review: Bitta Kidda Sleep Sack

Real-life review of the Bitta Kidda sleep sack from Casey, mom of a 13-month-old boy

We are a Bitta Kidda affiliate and received this product for free. We receive commission on any sales through our link. However, our real-life reviews are based on parents’ real experiences.

A couple key facts about my son’s sleep habits before I share my thoughts:

  1. He is just over a year old, so he’s very used to sleep sacks (we’ve used them from the start).
  2. He already has an attachment to lovies. I don’t recommend this in any way, but we introduced one about 6 months- against Joan and our pediatrician’s recommendation.

I wish I had known about the Bitta Kidda sleep sack when my son was little. He used to try to get comfortable grabbing onto his sleep sack! He just wanted to grab onto something while he slept. I delayed months introducing a lovey- and still did so before it was truly safe. This sleep sack would have made me so much more comfortable meeting him where he was- too little to have a loose blanket in his crib, but wanting comfort. The material is nice and soft- comparable to the popular sleep sack we’ve been using from day one.

This sleep sack features a whole lot of fasteners- velcro, snaps, a zipper. It’s a bit complicated for a sleep-deprived parent! And if you have a very tired, wriggly baby, even harder. It’s not rocket science, though, so I would just recommend practicing a couple times with a happy baby first. Probably a good idea, anyway, to help them get used to it!

The Bitta Kidda BittaSack is a great option if you’re looking to help your newly unswaddled kiddo sleep better!

We receive commission on Bitta Kidda purchases made through this link:

I Went Camping With My Baby

A mom walks into a campground- and runs out screaming 12 hours later.

That was almost me. Because I went camping with my baby. But, before you say you’ll never make the same mistake, this is a story with a happy ending!

A good idea, maybe

In the summer of social distancing, we decided camping felt safe enough for our little crew to have a weekend getaway camping with my in-laws.

My one-year-old is a happy camper. He’s never actually camped, but my easy-going kid loves nature. Camping fits his interests perfectly. Except for the fact that he sleeps best in complete darkness, at a crisp 68-72 degrees with the sound of ocean waves washing over him.

He’s a dream sleeper at home. We didn’t know how he’d do in a camper on a hot July weekend.

Day One

We timed the drive perfectly. Get him in his carseat right at naptime, he’ll sleep the first two hours, wake up, have a snack then become a camper. 

Nope.

Thirty minutes in his eyes popped open to watch the cars and trucks buzz by. The next two hours consisted of 10 minute naps.

Nap one was a bust. But, there’s hope yet!

Lunch, play, nap two.

We put his Pack ‘n’ Play in the camper, zipped him into his sleep sack, gave him his lovey and turned on the waves. He went out without a problem.

Snack, play, dinner… bedtime routine. And this is the part where mommy almost ran away.

My happy bathtime baby did not care for an inch of water at the bottom of the camper shower. Screaming. He didn’t want his bottle. More screaming and some wriggling. Reading was acceptable. Going to bed was not.

While I’m pretty powerful, if I do say so myself, I do not control the air temperature or sunset. So getting my son to lay down behind a sheet in the hot camper to try to block out light didn’t go well. He could tell it was still daytime- his favorite word is ‘go’ and that’s what he wanted to do- and he was H-O-T.

We fought him to sleep for HOURS. We sat in the air-conditioned car for bottle and stories. We swung in the hammock as the last light blue disappeared into the darkness. He fell asleep, but as soon as his head hit the Pack ‘n’ Play inside he was reminded he was in a weird place with weird light and too much humidity.

My husband and I didn’t know what to do. We followed all of Joan’s key sleep principles at home- cool, dark room, white noise, sleep sack, lovey. Luckily, we had parenting and camping professionals with us. 

Here’s what we as first-time parents didn’t realize. You adapt and survive. So, my husband and father-in-law loaded my sad buddy into his car seat and drove. About an hour later, they brought back my cooled-off, snoozing dude and he went into his bed just fine.

He woke me up in the morning by pulling up on the side of his bed and giving me a smoochie.

Day Two

My husband and I woke up ready to call it quits on camping with baby. But, he’s more patient than I am and decided let’s get through nap one. And not take any chances that it’d be a good one.

The guys loaded up the baby again- committed to driving up and down the Door County peninsula for two hours of a solid baby nap.

It worked! 

A solid morning nap led into a solid afternoon nap. A happy, splashing baby in between.

At bedtime, we had learned some lessons. First- since we couldn’t control the light, we didn’t. We pushed back bedtime until the night sky darkened. In the meantime, we did everything we could to keep the camper cool. We did most of his bedtime routine outside where the breeze could do the work for us. He and I snuggled in the big bed next to his Pack ‘n’ Play by ourselves for his bottle- him in his sleep sack ready for bed. The calm and quiet seemed to help. I reminded him mommy was still here behind the sheet.

We became happy campers

We ended up happy campers because we stopped trying to control the things we couldn’t. Sleep at home and sleep anywhere else are different. And we had to accept that.

Sure, driving our bud around at home isn’t sustainable. But, if that’s how we escape quarantine for two nights it’s fine. A late bedtime isn’t ideal, but if it saves a fight it’s fine. Letting go of my sleep anxiety really was fine since it meant I got to experience the joys of camping with my baby.

And next time, I might consider a battery-powered fan and/or this nifty invention to give buddy a private, dark space.


This is Parenting During the Coronavirus Pandemic

Parenting in a pandemic is worse than my worst fear. Postpartum anxiety made me believe our beloved dog had millions of dangerous germs on her. It made me believe the air was full of toxins. It convinced me harmful bacteria lingered everywhere. It never suggested a world-wide, potentially fatal virus would spread into our community, shutting down work and schools. This is parenting during the Coronavirus pandemic.

Casey on her first day of her new job… working from home…. with her teething son.
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