Sleep training takes a little preparation to make sure it actually works! The first step for two-parent households is getting on the same page that sleep training is needed. We know you’re exhausted, and we know agreeing on anything is harder without sleep. When you’ve tried recommendations from your pediatrician and well-meaning family members and friends, if nothing seems to be working, you might need some outside help! But before you do that, make sure you and your partner agree on handling sleep.
If any of the following cases sounds familiar, we recommend hitting pause on bringing in help until you’re both on the same page.
- You want to hire a sleep consultant and your partner has no interest.
- One parent feels the child’s disrupted sleep interferes with your relationship, while your partner doesn’t see any problem at all.
- Your partner believes it’s important to attend to all nighttime crying and you feel it makes your child’s sleep issues worse.
- One parent is always on high alert with the video monitor on and the other parent doesn’t see the need for it.
- One person feels they can take care of sleep training alone, without the help or support of the other parent.
If you disagree, we recommend having a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner before you embark upon sleep training. Save your money if you can’t agree!
How can you get on the same page about sleep training?
- Have a conversation when neither one of you is tired or distracted.
- Try to speak to your partner without blame.
- Here is a brief discussion guide:
- How have our disrupted nights impacted you?
- Do you want to bring in help to address our sleep issues? Why or why not?
- What do we hope to accomplish with sleep training?
- When would be the best time to sleep train? (You’ll need a few weeks without any major schedule disruptions)
- Discuss whether you’d prefer to take a long, gentle approach that could take several weeks (or months) or would you prefer to get your child’s sleep issues resolved immediately? If you can’t come to an agreement, there is a middle ground approach. (Head to our blog on the various sleep training options)
If your goal is to get your child sleeping well for your kiddo and your own physical and mental well-being, it’s a matter of agreeing how you’re going to reach that goal. If you’re willing to be flexible and compromise, you can come to an agreement. If you can’t agree, perhaps it’s time to seek out a support person that could help you get on the same page.