When the Pandemic began I had a baby. An immobile nine-month-old who liked to sit and stare at himself in mirrors. Man, I did not know how good I had it! Fast forward 10,000 years… ahem… almost six months now and I have a toddler. A wild, tantrum-throwing, fast-crawling, nearly-walking 14-month-old. Oof. Still working from home. Oof oof.
There’s no “easy” in any of this. Parenting is hard. Parenting in the time of COVID-19 is impossible. It’s hard to be pregnant right now, it’s hard to have a newborn right now, it’s hard to have a baby right now, it’s hard to have a toddler right now, it’s hard to have school-aged kids right now and it’s hard to have teenagers right now. I’m finding it extremely hard to be working from home with a toddler. All of the parents have all of the hard choices to make with school, childcare, activities, etc. Every bit takes an amount of patience I am not blessed with.
At some point, I realized if I wasn’t comfortable with childcare, I needed to set up our days in a way that wouldn’t leave me pancaked on the floor at the end of the day. Here are some of the changes I made.
Creating a “Yes” Space
When my buddy started moving, I found myself saying ‘no’ approximately 72 times an hour. I started hating the word, which has historically been one of my favorites. Enter Google. “How to stop saying no to your child” and up turned the Montessori Yes Space. It’s basically extreme childproofing. We eliminated all temptations and removed anything my son can’t have. Now, I can comfortably turn away from my little man and know he is safe and entertained.
Introducing novel toys/activities
Every week or two I create a new toy in one of two ways.
- I make a “toy” by recycling something around the house. One week I took an empty plastic bottle and created a shaker with sprinkles from the pantry. I took one of those disposable lasagna pans and let him do whatever he wanted. Another week, I ordered photo cards from Parabo Press and wrote the names of our family on them. Bonus: this ensures your child won’t forget their loved ones in these distanced days.
- This kid has endless toys, so I divide them up into different rooms and rotate every once-in-a-while. If you look it up online, some people do this in a very structured, minimalist way, which I admire, but really don’t have the bandwidth for right now.
Lowering my standards
Hello Sesame Street! I’ve watched the TED talk on tv time. I know what the American Academy of Pediatrics says about screen time. The experts can take my child into their home and try to do their job with him. We don’t let him watch all day, but on a rough day, he might watch an hour or so of a show. I try to pick shows that move in real-time (nothing action-packed or quick cutting) and have an educational purpose. We watch the aforementioned Sesame Street, The Wiggles, Little Baby Bums and Mother Goose Club mostly. It’s not my ideal, but neither is working from home with a toddler. This is not a time for perfectionism- it’s a time for survival.
Keeping my mental health in check
THIS is both the biggest challenge and most important piece of the puzzle. My mental health has never been perfect, but add a pandemic to my anxiety/OCD, it’s a big job to keep intrusive thoughts and fears from taking over. I won’t pretend they don’t win some days, but doing the work is critical. For me, that means maintaining appointments with my therapist and trying to keep up good habits. I started reading more. I not-so-subtly “hinted” that I wanted a bike for my birthday to ride far, far away. Okay, I mean, I don’t even get out of our town, but it’s helped me to feel less contained in this chaotic world and to get away since I don’t feel comfortable wandering the aisles of Target for no apparent reason. Honestly, it’s a lot of work, but I am a better wife and mom when I make the effort.
And since this is a sleep blog, I’d be remiss to leave out getting enough sleep. When I’m anxious I can’t sleep and stay up later than I should. I’ve started going to bed earlier and my saintly husband gets up with the kiddo so I get more sleep and have more patience. Because while I don’t know a whole lot, I do know working from home with a toddler requires lots of that.
Fellow baby/toddler parents, what changes has your family made to get through the days? Share on our Facebook or Instagram Pages! @PeaPodSleepConsultants